Stevie Wonder, “1-2-3 Sesame Street”
He was busy selling about three billion copies of Innervisions and Songs in the Key of Life, and yet still showed up on the Street to teach Cookie Monster how to dance. Awesome? Yes, I think so.
Today’s Tumblr is brought to you by the Letters R & M, and the Number 12.
(Happy 40th Birthday, Sesame Street!)
On the Hotness of Robots:
In our exhaustive research, we turned up a film called Cyborg 2, which is awful. However, it does feature a 17-year-old Angelina Jolie as a killer robot with Karate powers.
The phrase “17-year-old Angelina Jolie with Karate powers” is an automatic win for any team that claims it.
ADVANTAGE: ROBOTS
On the Hotness of Monkeys:
The hottest possible monkey we at The Un-Tumblr could find is Helena Bonham Carter in the Planet of the Apes remake. Decent, but we think it’s because of the hair.
On the fallibility of robots: if you attempt to have sex with them next to a malfunctioning washing machine, they will short out in a comically overdone manner.
On the fallibility of monkeys: even the most evil and bloodthirsty of these creatures can be defeated by a hungry quadriplegic.
Piebald, “The Monkey Versus the Robot”
“I know a guy who lives just for the weekend.
He says he’s tired a lot.
He says there should be five days of weekend
Instead of five days of work.”
And another thing: you see a tail on that GQMF? No? Then guess what? That’s a orangutan, and not a monkey.
Phyla: Learn You Some, New York Times!
“Her Prince Has Come. Critics, Too,” The New York Times, November 3, 2009.
COME ON! How many times are we going to have to go through this? All of the Chimps (Chimps, not Monkeys) are voiced by ITALIANS. That was just how Louie Prima talked. Yes, all the time. It’s not our fault that you have no sense of musical history, and can’t figure out the appropriate time to yell “That’s Racist!”
Look, no one ever complained about King Louie until recently. You know why? Because everyone knew who he was. The Italians? We are proud of him. The man was a crossover artist when people still used words like Wop and Dago with impunity. He was right there with Sinatra, those swingers who got the entire country moving regardless of race, class, or gender. I’ll give you the Crows of Dumbo; you may see them as ugly stereotypes, because they certainly aren’t sensitive portrayals. But when you try to show Louie as an example of “Disney’s Racism,” you are showing your hand as a poor journalist and poorer judge of character.
