On the subject of Monkeys with Sitcoms:
I am pained, pained that this is not a real television program. Only Jonathan Coulton could make this stoic, monkey-adverse writer nostalgic for the days of 80s Sitcoms…and also the monkeys that starred in them (Bobo the Monkey, Chimbo the Monkey, Kirk Cameron).
Is there no one who will turn this program into a reality? The world’s first Creative Commons sitcom? Anyone? Bueller?
On the subject of Robots and jailbreaks:
The same action will often be repeated ad infinitum until the episode comes to an end. Monkeys tend to get bored with such tactics.
ADVANTAGE: MONKEYS
On the subject of Robots living inside pinball machines:
Did anyone else love this game as much as I did? Yes, the obvious Twilight Zone connection for a kid who was nuts over Science Fiction, but it was also way more than that. I was mad about pinball, having become addicted to the original Star Trek machine at a hotel in Cornwall, and would play every single table which I encountered. This quickly became one of my favorites, due to one distinguishing factor:
MAGNETS.
At random intervals, the machine would grab your silverball and throw it around the table, often directly into the path of an inescapable ramp, or right out of range of the flippers. I believe this was the first time I encountered Robots who were trying to screw up my exploits. Still, I loved the everliving hell out of this machine, especially since I foolishly thought that I could beat it at its own game.
If I get a sudden influx of disposable income this Christmas season, I may have to drop the $8,000 it takes to buy this sucker.
(Reminded of the pinball topic this morning by Andrea Rosen, who you should be following if you are not already.)
On the subject of Dogs, Robot:
Walking without entering orbit is a problem for them. Monkeys have no such problem.
ADVANTAGE: MONKEYS
On the subject of Taming Monkeys:
If you combine the musical talents of both your fiddle- and euphonium-playing friends, a monkey, properly contained in the zoo, will stay for tea.
Then it’s all over.
Tumblr will have turned into an episode of Thirtysomething, and we’re all doomed.
In the interest of full debate, we here at the Un-Tumblr wish to gather all your thoughts on the current match-up between Monkeys and Robots. Please expand upon any and all relevant thoughts. The answers will be used at a future date in this Tumblr discussion to finally settle this age-old rivalry.
On the subject of Protection Against Robots:
They were once built to serve mankind, but now they eat old people’s medicine for fuel. Larger and more dangerous than Bathroom Monkeys, robots are known to grab you with their metal claws so hard that you can’t break free. So ask yourself which you would rather have: an often-mad monkey, or a rogue robot?
On the subject of Monkey Cleanliness:
There are some effective modes of monkey bathroom-cleaning. However, please be advised that your monkey servant could become ornery, leading you to also become irritated, leave SNL and join Air America.
I can guarantee you one thing: the new V will never, ever feature a scene where an alien is defeated by Marc Singer’s crotch.
